I don't need you

I guess today I realized that I really don't need you.
Even if I feel a void for awhile...I'll be better off
and it was only a matter of time!

I hate to say that I hope one day YOU regret things
because that sounds dumb and mean
so I won't say that or think it

but I wish you happiness
and I hope you are able to show the world the good person I know lies within you
even though you failed to show him to me



anywho
now I feel relieved
:]

I can't wait for April
please hurry up and get here.

I have so many things to look forward too :]
:] :] :] :]


things are looking up!!!!
yay




Zoso has been such a pain in the ass these days.......
it's ridiculous

I love him and all but seriously!!!!!
he needs to simmer down


I'm reading Animal Liberation
I only read like 4 pages haha

and I need to write an art appreciation paper tomorrow
and paint

I only look forward to the latter

it's hard

I swear that it's so hard for me to keep positive.
I don't think it's noticeable because I'm constantly putting on this front that yes I'm fine la la la I'll just smile and this and that.

it's not so easy trying to live life by the law of attraction.
as dumb as it may sound to some people it's a nice thing to believe in.
I don't think people were put on this earth to suffer
and it shouldn't be so impossible to get what you want.

everything was really wonderful for awhile!
and as soon as I felt doubt is when it starts to slowly crumble...
I need some reinforcement
positive emotion

and I know it's there
I just need to drop these worries in the back of my mind
and some of this anger...and resentment.


my mind is drifting
and it's hard for me to keep focused on my goal...

I'm really going to start to bare down and work hard for what I want
clarity is on it's way
and I will just keep working hard.



I'm starting a serious portfolio
the problem is I need a lot of models haha
But then again I have an idea.
and I never make sense!
even in this blog that's mainly for myself I'm not completely open haha.

but yeah
route 1 trip will be amazing
and eye opening I think
I feel like that's when things are going to get serious, in a good way.

and I'm thankful for that
thank you thank you thank you.

going UP

I'm going up the coast





idk if I'm going by myself...or with my mom....or I might just bring Zoso haha.


bottom line! I'M GOING

List of things I need to bring:
-great cd mixes
-4 cameras
-20 rolls of film [haha maybe a bit less]
-clothes
-toiletries lol
-snacks?
-money


and I'll be going the first or second week of April...
whenever my spring break is


hopefully it's not raining....
I don't really want to drive off a cliff because I can't see

the purpose for this trip is for pleasure and photos
so what if it's been done a million times
it's new territory for me
and I'm ready to explore.



I can't wait to see you again.