well of the last 2 years
And I felt so proud that I had finally accomplished my goal and finally felt free of these emotions that have constantly bombarded me for so long
I finally came to a realization that I deserve better
I know what I want now
and everything that isn't what I want doesn't need to be in my life
I dropped multiple people who have held me back from getting what I want
FINALLY
I felt everything was going in the right direction
but of course,
it didn't last very long haha
I deleted phone numbers, myspaces [haha]
and then POOF all of a sudden people who were ignoring me, and who I finally wanted to continue doing so, decide to reenter my life....
GREAT haha
3 people!
but 1 that hit me harder then the rest
I wish I was stronger sometimes
I value my personality and my ability to forgive
and my desire for everyone to be happy with themselves and have nothing but good to enter their lives...
I am glad I decided to help you
and I hope this opens so many doors for you! and leads you to success and happiness I know you want.
I just wish you didn't reopen this door for me...
a weekend of feeling vulnerable to those feelings I thought were behind me
I don't want to miss you
and it's hard for me to focus on the truth
the truth about how you treat me, and how you don't value me, or atleast how you don't show that you do.
It's hard for me to accept that just because I helped you with something very important doesn't mean that you'll love me for it. And it doesn't mean that you'll make an effort to appreciate me.
So after a weekend of missing you [well missing how I've always wished you were]
I realize that things don't change
and that you aren't the one I need
so why fret over it anymore?
I won't
and I feel free now haha
and I just needed to express how I felt over the weekend.
"i hope so too, you deserve the best candace, you really do"
"and i hope the same for you, because i hate hearing about this guy that is treating you like crap. youre so amazing and you really deserve someone amazing to complement yourself"
I just have to remind myself of this
and truly believe it
I love passing storm clouds
and I loved that feeling yesterday
when it started to pour at the beach
and I just stood there with my camera
